Adult friendships are such a strange animal. I've had many friends in my adult life that have come and gone. The friendship isn't made any less real or valuable to that time in my life because it ended. I still hold each of those people with their stories dear to my heart. Some friends were lost because of the addition of a new love. You know those friends that disappear when they start dating someone new (I've been guilty of this too). Some friends were lost because of a break-up (like a bad divorce). Some friends were lost because of a move or change in job. Some friends were lost because one of us hurt the other. And some friends have been lost to motherhood.
When I met Laura, I didn't know what kind of friend she would be, but I invested myself into the friendship. She and I met when she moved into the classroom across the hall from me when we were both teaching second grade. At first we were just good friends at school sharing a laugh before class or venting to each other in passing. At some point that friendship took a dip into something more than a superficial work friendship. I believe it was probably the day that I shared a secret with her...I was pregnant. Being that she was right across the hall, I thought it wise to let her know as one of the first people in case I got sick or had some sort of emergency (first time mom fears). She was beyond ecstatic when I told her.
Maybe it's that elevated level of trust that pushes a friendship forward, but that, in my opinion, was the beginning for us. She helped me move my classroom down the hall that summer while I was very pregnant. There were lots of chances for our friendship to be one of those that doesn't stick, but somehow we stuck. We both applied for the same job at one point and when she got it over me guess what...we still stuck. When I moved to another school I thought this might be the end of our friendship since we wouldn't see each other daily. Nope, still stuck. When she decided to stay home and raise her son I thought we might lose touch as our lives went such different directions. I can't say why she and I have worked so hard to keep our friendship because that's what adult friendships are...work.
I think adult friendships are much more challenging to women/mothers because of the level of intimacy we require in a friendship. It takes an active decision to make the friendship work. When I'm tired from chasing little girls around, cooking meals, cleaning house, and just want to sit and watch netflix, I have to actively make the decision to check in or schedule a coffee date. I'm so grateful that she stuck. xoxo to you, Laura :)